Well, well Squashflat... such a willing... applicant. I admire your spirit! Well then, I presume you are in a different part of the world than I so you would have to travel. Once at Castle Fattenstein you must be able and willing to assist with all phases of experiments, enjoy popping buttons off of clothing, and overall be willing to grow into the position. You must carry your own weight... at least until you must be carried yourself, and enjoy eating. I mean really enjoy eating. The benefits are very good (and tasty too), and you will find it is a very... fulfilling position. Also, enjoying things like video games while snacking, a good scary movie (or comedy) while snacking, and snacking while snacking are big pluses but not mandatory (except the snacking part). Have you done this type of work before?
Some ask why I do this type of work, and aside from my own vested interest, I reply the same as three other doctors did in the past... “For duty and humanity”.